Postpartum : Skinny to fat

Being pregnant, one can get an increased of weight from 7kg-30kg. It varies from how much weight the pregnant woman was. It’s very fortunate for those who could easily shed their fats off postpartum even by just breastfeeding. What about those who keep on gaining because of breastfeeding?

So here’s my story.

Before I got pregnant and married, my weight was always between 49kg-53kg. Technically I was underweight because I’m 1.7m. So then I got married, and gotten myself pregnant with our little bub. My booking weight was 57kg. See how I could easily gain my weight after I happily got married? So, from 57kg until the day I gave birth, my weight was 77kg. That was the fattest I’ve ever been! It’s baby fat okay? Baby fat! My doctor said it’s normal for me to gain 20kg because I was underweight before I got pregnant, well, that eased my feeling a little.

I admit it, during my confinement days I wasn’t really particular of what I eat. Pizza, other oily food -yes I ate them all. Definitely not the food a lady in confinement days to be eaten, I know. My mother said that was the reason how it was hard for me to lose my weight. Not only that, I was breastfeeding and having a gastric. Those who breastfeed do know how hungry you can be after every feeding, don’t you? Making things worst, I have gastric. Literally, once my baby sucked on my boobies, my tummy started to make the song of its own, rumbling to eat! Urghhhh I was a hungry momma ever!

Currently I am 7 months postpartum. I am way too far to get my pre pregnancy weight. The lowest weight I’ve ever got ever since postpartum was only 63kg. Yes I know, another 6kg to lose to get my pre pregnancy weight. Too bad, right after Eid ul fitri’s raya, I keep on gaining. I gain – gain – gain and gain! Even waking up in the morning and going down the stairs making my feet hurt so much like how I was during pregnancy. That’s how I know I’m fat. I went to my mom’s for two weeks to end my confinement days after I got a miscarriage last month. Had to brave myself to go on the scale, surprise SURPRISE! It’s 70kg! I was not even losing my weight, but I gained postpartum!

So I decided to start dieting by fasting. I ate only once a day, the food I ate to break my fast, that was gonna be my food for my sahur. Only a little quantity of rice to be eaten for me to survive the next day. Guess what? I managed to lose 3kg in 3 days! Yayyy me! Unfortunately, aunt flow came on the fourth day. So hello again my super appetite! Urghhh

The thing is, yes I know I am fat. I feel offended when people commenting on how fat I am. Yes I know it’s easy for you to lose weight postpartum. It’s mean for you to compare yours and mine. I’m one of those who have a hard time to lose weight. Your comments are just making me stressed. Stressed = desserts, right? Sometimes I even cried. Because the one giving out comments aren’t others than family members. Some people are being insensitive. Can’t you at least be supportive for once? Ouch! That’s how I feel everytime you open your mouth.

I’ll be back soon. I’ll be the old skinny me. I’ll be like Aishwarya Rai. I’ll be like Norjuma. Never underestimate the power of will.


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